Sacrifices

The perfect life exists only in a world where sacrifices are present.

Sacrifices are not as deep as we think, every decision in life is a choice to sacrifice.

You might be thinking about two different dinner ideas, for example chicken wraps or beef stew. Even if you wish you could make both, the reality is that you will have to choose one. 

That choice means that one of those recipes and cravings is going to be sacrificed for the other. This is the process of life.

I have found that the decisions we find the easiest are actually the decisions that shape our lives. We find them easy because we have already decided based on our values which decisions will be easy. The hard ones are only hard because we haven't had time to sit and think about them because they are the curveballs.

The world we live in these days is one of a consensus mindset. People have become so used to being around people of a common upbringing and mindset that they refuse to see the world as multifaceted.

A multifaceted world means we have multifaceted people. 

I know, multifaceted is such a big word, why don't I just use simple English and say we are different? Because I don't want to.

That little disagreement there about a use of a word is the exact reason we cannot see people as multifaceted.

We expect that the other person has the same thoughts we do or they should, around us, have similar thoughts to us.

What a load of Bull kaka!

If we sacrificed our comfort of speaking plainly would we not then increase our vocabulary?

or are we just willing to sacrifice for now to live comfortably right now, because who knows when we're going to need the thing we sacrificed?

Now, I'm not saying we need to sacrifice ourselves for others. I am actually bringing to your attention, how much you need to trust in yourself and do what is best for you.

Nobody else will ever understand the sacrifices you have to make to be the person you intend on becoming. Nobody needs to. You are the only person who can decide, what you're willing to sacrifice and to choose to be okay with what you have sacrificed.

Texts from Google images

There has been discourse lately about the choice of people in the child-free community (and I'm not talking about only the adults that fall into the category of child-free) not being available to babysit/ watch other family members or peoples children for free and I feel that it needs it be talked about more.

I am a child-free woman, I have chosen to be child-free and the notion that some parents have an expectation that their kids should be looked after by anyone other than a paid babysitter and themselves really gets to me. 

No aunt, sibling or grandmother (notice most of these are the female version of extended family) should feel obligated to take care of another persons child at no cost. 

There are services available for the purpose of giving you a break, however, these services are mostly ignored because they cost money, forgetting, that asking someone to do it for free is costing the other person their time.

Don't get me wrong, tons of people would gladly look after someone's child/ren free of charge, for money or if the child/rens' snacks and entertainment is taken care of. Everybody is entitled to their choice. Being offended by the choice is where the problem lies.

Entitlement comes in many forms, one of them being the expectation that your "village" has to be available to help you whenever and free of charge as well. 

The choice to bear a child comes with the knowledge of responsibilities.

These responsibilities include childcare when you are not going to be able to be there and this includes having the funds available should it be required or making the necessary sacrifice, if you don't have the funds.

My other qualm about this involves the kids fathers. Childcare is not a one parent job, surely there needs to be accountability for the childcare and this applies to whether you are married/ in a committed relationship or not. 

Fathers cannot babysit their own children, they can only spend time with them.

I know this is a sore spot for POC because we are close communities but as the eldest daughter, niece and granddaughter I know how much it affects the person who gladly does this for you and because I have had to do it for free, I would never hesitate to protest in the favour of paid labour.

Unless they are happy to do it for free, they are allowed to charge. Your children are not easy to look after and if someone is willing to take time out of their lives to help you, then you can help them as well.